Right now i feel pretty much crap. My soul/heart feels heavy.
Well, i lost my whole wallet on Friday. Practically lost all my cards and my beloved MP3 and oh my crappy phone too. I felt so bad its not even funny.
But, i didn’t stay emo because i think thats useless and it won’t solve my problem. So, i started thinking of ways of getting em back or just replacing them. Yes i got everything back. I replaced my MP3 and my phone. God’s grace really. But praise the Lord anyways for getting me through that.
I didn’t tell my family about it so it was practically carrying my burden on my shoulders alone. It was horrible.. i felt like i couldn’t turn to them? I mean if i did all i’ll get is scolding and nagging which i SO didn’t need at that time. Think about it you already feel like killing yourself and they don’t console you and say “its fine, we’ll find a way to replace it. We will work together! You can always count on us!” I wished they could say that.. but no, thats not reality ( i wish it was). Argh.
But whatever. I’ve got everything back.
But today, they found out i lost my wallet and my mom was nagging and scolding me for losing it being all careless and blah blah blah. I got pissed and i said hey man, i replaced everything so get over it already. ( sometimes i feel, think shes just so bored .. she wants to nag about everything ! and she actually enjoys doing it. It is like her hobby or something. what a mom! She should so get a job -_- ) My dad joined in too. I got pissed and said some hurtful words which i did apologize (sending a text to my dad).
Pretty screwed up huh?
O levels makes me depressed. Makes me feel stressed up and i’m not used feeling that way and I DONT LIKE THE FEELING!
Yeah, I’m trying. But noo–ooo many people don’t think im even studying. OMG :\ Sometimes i get so pissed and annoyed / stressed i don’t even want to go school. I mean i rather stay home and mug. I like staying at home. (No life) LOL
But again.. whatever screw it.
Yeah, people think im all so happy all the time. But hey, i’m a pretty good actress.
Sometimes i feel like im so alone in this crap. I know i shouldn’t feel this way. But i am! I mean i just want a best friend.. someone i can just share all these with instead of typing it on here! this is so not what i thought i would do btw. I want a friend to just hold me and that i can just cry my eyes out. Wheres the love?! LOL
Written with a pen.
Sealed with a kiss.
If you are my friend, please answer this:
Are we friends Or are we not?
You told me once But I forgot.
So tell me now And tell me true.
So I can say…. “I’m here for you.”
Of all the friends I’ve ever met,
You’re the one I won’t forget.
And if I die Before you do,
I’ll go to heaven And wait for you.
That would be sweet if someone said that to me. :’)
